People who know me, well, they know I am a bit of a dreamer. I often gaze while multiple thoughts are crossing my mind. Sometimes, I am not even sure what these thoughts are about.

Yoga, meditation, helps me to get my ass back on the ground. Be here now, in the present. To calm my restless thoughts. I remember saying: “yoga, meditation… way too woolly for me”. Now, a few years later, it became part of my (almost) daily routine. I still find it quite ‘challenging’ to sit down and meditate in the morning. My mind is telling me to move my body; meditating by sitting down, is not my thing yet. Going outside for a morning walk, feels better to me. Is that not meditation as well?

My first experience with yoga was quite an emotional one. After a very intense day, running from one appointment to another, I sat down on the yoga mat. We started with a breathing exercise. At that point, my heart was beating so fast, I felt it in my throat. Totally over-stimulated. I guess the result of wanting to do too much in one day… as usual. Who ever came up with the word ‘multitasking’, well, I think it sucks. This rapid heart beat was bothering me already for months and I forgot the feeling of natural breathing. After a few minutes though, only focusing on my breath, I noticed how my heartbeat slowed down. It was not bouncing in my throat anymore. Slowly, I became more quiet inside, less thoughts and my breathing became calmer and deeper. Tears came up. I was so grateful and happy for this.

Thoughts. I guess they arise by whatever you hear, see, read. Nowadays we process so much information. Not all, but lots of this information turns into thoughts in the mind. Thoughts, which pull you away from the present.

In the moment
I was having a nice dinner with a friend last weekend. We just finished our starter with still two courses coming up. Then he said: “Perhaps we can go to the cinema afterwards. Let me check the timetable”. He wanted to grab his phone. I said: “But if you now check the timetable, this whole experience will change. Now, you don’t know the timetable. You don’t even know what time it is. You are simply here, enjoying dinner. If you do check the timetable, not only your thoughts will be pulled away from this experience, you also have to watch the time as the movie will start playing at a certain moment”. He first looked at me with a funny face. Then, his face became more serious.

We continued our dinner without time pressure. Enjoying some wonderful wines. Having laughs with the owner of the restaurant. It was quite late by the time we left the restaurant. Once outside, he checked the timetable. There were no movies playing anymore. We hugged each other good night and went home.

4 Replies to “Thought”

  1. Lieve Deike, Wat mooi om te horen dat je rust hebt gevonden. Prachtig stuk heb je geschreven. And Yes, when I read it, I believe that you became more quiet inside. Gisterenavond straalde je ook rust uit. Elk mens blijft altijd op zoek naar “iets” wat bij hem of haar past. Zo had ik geen energie meer. Jij hebt mij een paar jaar geleden meegenomen naar Santiago. Dat was Keigezellig, Dat was mijn allereerste kennismaking met Latin. Toen heb ik nog niet doorgepakt. Tot ik in de zomer van 2017 in Italië workshops op een latin avond bijwoonde. Helemaal verliefd geworden op latindans liep ik ‘s nachts terug naar ons appartement. Toen wist ik het, nu ga ik alle lessen volgen. En daar ik in het begin nog gefrustreerd op de dansvloer stond omdat ik zo’n perfectioniste ben, heb ik nu na een jaar lessen en workshops bij te hebben gewoond helemaal “mijn draai” gevonden. Nieuwe mensen leren kennen en heel veel energie gekregen. Het velleke van buiten is 53, maar van binnen voel ik me ook 28 jaar hihi. Allemaal dankzij jou. Alles wat je meemaakt in je leven kun je in een “rugzakje” stoppen en later gebruiken. En daar je altijd zo’n bezig bij was en als een vlinder overal heen fladderde, kwam er uit jouw rugzakje dat je yoga wilt gaan leren op Bali en personal trainer wilt worden. Ik wens je heel veel succes met alles wat je doet. Groetjes Anita


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