Letting go of my Yoga Teacher Training. Cliché but oh so true: life-changing. Being ‘back to normal life’ again. My mind wanting to have a conversation with me, starting off with: ”so, what’s next Deike?” I kindly apologize myself and walk away of my mind. As far as possible.
Already letting go of my sister who only arrived 5 days ago to Bali. Who needs a little more space at the moment, not having to take anyone into count when making plans. Can’t blame her for that, coming from a very busy home situation. Feel quite the same too. Sharing suddenly ‘my space’ with someone 24/7, it requires some ‘getting used to it’ time. We usually get along so well but somehow it does not flow right now. Not continuing with this travel together though? It did not feel good to me. Maybe we simply needed a day off, for ourselves. She? Already checked out, rented a scooter and left Ubud. Well, what to do…
My favorite porridge at Atman Kafe does not taste the same today. Sadness, all over me. Trying to put up a smile. Telling myself its all good. To make new, different plans. Still over two weeks left here. That my sister will be safe, that I should not worry about her.
Something inside of me feels tired. Full of all learnings, experiences of the past 4 weeks. Meeting such amazing people from all over the world and listening to their stories. Living a life, so in the now, that it felt I was on a different planet. A planet I really felt at home. Yet, if I could snap my fingers right now and be underneath my warm blanket in my little home 12000 km away from here, I would.
Faith. In myself, the Universe. One day I find it easier than the other. I do feel, deep in my heart, it will work out. With my sister, with my path. Simply with everything. I just find it hard to put this sadness away today and smile again.
Letting go of that I have to smile today. Be happy. It will come. Or it won’t. And it’s all good.