Intuitive Eating

Listening to your body and giving it what it is asking for. Perhaps I can better say:

Listening to this ‘inner voice’ we all have and unfortunately

also often ignore and go for the mind. 

I am just going to spit it out: today, after almost two years, I ate meat again.

So, about two years ago, I went vegan. Some documentaries had a huge impact on me. Conversations with people also. I was triggered, felt sorry for the animals, told myself I did not need it anyway. In the beginning, it was quite easy. But more and more I started to struggle with what to eat. Beans, a famous ingredient in the vegan cuisine, were making me (even more) gassy. Yes, you read it well: more. I have a sensitive stomach/disgestion and gassiness is, unfortunately, a big part of my life. Eating slower, chewing more, being careful with some ingredients helps but still. Back to the beans: so they were not creating happiness, but gassiness. Wauw, my writing is creative at night time!

I remember standing at the supermarket, having no creativity what to cook. Very little to no wheat, no refined sugar: that’s something I am dealing with since I am 18 years old. Now I had to add: no dairy, no meat, no fish. Tofu and tempeh, which I loved before, were getting boring also. For a while, I tried eating lots of carbs, like some vegans do. But I noticed getting hungry again within 1-2 hrs. Crazy up and downs in energy. I was getting annoyed. I missed my creativity, I missed flexibility. I missed an egg, simply a scrambled or boiled egg with breakfast.

Without stamp
I decided to remove the stamp ‘vegan’ of my forehead. In a way, it felt like I could breathe again. The first animal product I added to my diet again: eggs. Then, some dairy, like cottage cheese and feta cheese. After a while, I started to eat fish again. Not frequently, perhaps twice a month. That’s how it has been for about two years now.

Meat cravings
Like 6-8 months ago, I started to have meat cravings. Mostly beef and sometimes chicken. I ignored these cravings. But in the past month, it has gone to the point that I am finding myself at the supermarket, holding a package with beef or chicken, looking at it and with lots of discipline, putting it back.

Kindness, for all beings on our beautiful world. Animals belong to our world. It should not be the way it is nowadays, that they are locked up in tiny places. Get treated, the way they are.

But were was my own kindness to myself? What was I doing… Craving meat for over 6 months and ignoring it completely. What was I trying to proof? I started to get angry. Why was I making such a drama and stress. The world won’t stop turning if I once buy, prepare and eat meat.

Pffff, it’s been a crazy day. Already last night, I told myself: “Deike Louise, you are craving meat since months now. So tomorrow, you will do it. You will do it. No excuses.”

I considered going out for dinner somewhere. But then I decided to buy it myself and prepare a nice dish. I found a nice Korean recipe, bought the ground beef at the organic store and went home. First, cooking rice. Then, it was time to unpack the ground beef. I held the package in both hands, closed my eyes and told the beef my appreciation. I unpacked it, took the beef out with my bare hands and started with the recipe.

Mind vs. intuition
Sitting at the table with the dish in front of me, I did a little ‘appreciation’ thing again. Then, I started eating. Telling my mind to shut the f*ck up. Because trust me, it was yelling non-stop at me: ”You are a betrayer, this poor cow died for you, etc.” My intuition, although it was hard to hear thanks to my screaming mind, was quite enjoying it. A feeling of gratefulness, that I finally listened to it.

No idea how this will continue, in sense of: was this only once, or will I start eating meat more frequently. I only feel one thing right now:

Happy and proud, that I was finally stronger than my mind and listened to my intuition.

… Did not look of the window yet. Hope the world is still turning?!

Mindful conscious living

6 Replies to “Intuitive Eating”

  1. I had the same experience when I quit something cold turkey of wanting to eat it VERY badly. So when I started becoming a vegan I slowly cut out red meat first, then white meat, then animal products and then went vegan. The craves that came afterwards for meat became much smaller than before when I was only cutting out red meat and I was able to stay vegan for years before becoming a raw vegan and has stayed on it for almost a year and a half now. It is very very very normal to feel those cravings because at least in my experience, my whole body was made up of meat and other food i consumed for yeaaarrss before turning a vegetarian and then vegan so when I stopped eating meat the toxins and the fat cells that release meat related chemicals in my body, they made my physical body want to eat meat again. However, when I just continued to eat my vegetarian or vegan diet in a slightly larger quantity than when I had during my meat eating days, the craving eventually subside and I did not want to eat those things I got rid of anymore. If you cut things out step by step, you will probably be in much greater control of your own body’s craving so you can make it through those days. As for the guilt, it never really was an issue for me in the beginning or during my transition because I did the diet for my health not for cruelty reasons at first. However as I progressed, I have seen a great change in my emotion and empathy towards sentient beings and life in general so I think it really depends on the person. Now if that bothers you enough you can always seek help from experienced vegans. Oh yea When I first started transitioning and cutting things out one at a time I was getting hungry faster and had to eat way more to compensate and that is just because your body wasnt used to it. We were always told this this this should be right and this this this amount should be eaten. It is just a norm established by a large enough amount of people, a largely held opinion. There is not necessarily any truth in opinions and for people who are advanced enough in their own ways to even try a vegan diet I am sure you would understand this. Every moment is a new beginning. Choose what is truly the most beneficial for you! Love and Peace:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for putting this effort in writing all this. For me, how it feels: we are all different. In sense of who we are, also in what we need. For one person something can work, for someone else not at all. An example: someone I know tried quitting smoking several times, the ‘slow way’ (plasters, these e-cigarettes). Did not work out. Then, she tried the ‘cold turkey way’. And it was the way which worked for her. More and more I am trying to listen to my own intuition. Less to the bulk of information we get in our mind nowadays, to opinions from surroundings. Trying to have faith that something in me, knows whats best. And the more quiet it is, the better I can listen to it. Your message sounds so positive. If you are happy with whatever you are doing, thats all what matters, right? It seems you are 🙂 Big hug, Deike

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes I am. I am very grateful for that and I really really hope you are too and every one else in the world:D The silence part you mention is really nice. I really agree with that. When our mind is silent we can hear what is true so much more easily. I find the more truly happy a person is the more silent is their mind. I wish you all that is the most beneficial for you. Blessings for you 🙂 Yofiel

        Liked by 1 person

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