To be alone or to be with others. What would your choice be, if it would be for a life-time?
Being alone can be nice. I enjoy having my space, some silence as I am quite sensitive to lots of noise and impressions at the same time. But answering on my question above… I would not choose to be alone. I would choose to be with others.
I wonder if my life would not be easier, if I would choose the ‘normal’ way of living. Having a plan for a couple years, a ‘real’ house, a pet.
My mind is telling me: ”you are running away!” That ‘running away’ sentence… how many times friends or family, did not mention it to me. And although I am improving step by step, I have still difficulties not to care about others opinions and simply go my way. Perhaps my way is not a ‘settled’ way? A good name would be ‘butterfly’. I am curious. Something inside of me, wants to live every day like it’s the last day. Not only sit on one flower and watch to other beautiful flowers around me. No, I also want to touch them with my beautiful butterfly buttocks.
To me, what I do, seems to become less and less important. You know what I really care about? People. From a smile of a stranger to a big hug of my father. That creates a happy, warm feeling inside of me. Caring for others too, whether it’s being simply there for someone in need or sharing a homemade cake with friends. But also being cared for.
Reading the news, about the information-overflow nowadays. That employees can’t handle it anymore. About kids, having serious health problems on a very young age caused by a very high screen use. Looking around me, watching how people run from A to B. A guy in the gym, having a very serious business call while working out. A girl, next to me in the bus uploading a story on Instagram and refreshing 5 times straight after, curious if someone already watched it (that was the moment I deleted my Instagram account).
Impossible to describe in one single word how I feel. I can give you one word though, about what I miss sometimes.
Lots of love to all of you.